You see a lot of poorly placed postings on social media. It’s never been easier to share your life with others, but it’s also never been easier to overshare. Like way, way, way overshare. Here are my 10 Do’s & Don’ts of impressing and not annoying with social media!
1. DO: Show Support
If your friend wrote, created, or starred in yet another short film with aspirations of stretching it into a feature, by all means, help a sister (or brother) out. Creative competition in LA is notoriously fierce, and just a little boost to say ‘hey I still believe in you’ might mean more than you know.
Odds are you’ve got your own goals so when the time comes to pimp yourself out, your friend will remember your kindness and return the favor. Dolling out public snaps for success not only boosts their profile, but gives you an aura of selflessness, and is one small way of adapting the Golden Rule to modern times.
2. DON’T: Document Your Food
I’m only going to say this once and I’m really sorry to be the bearer of bad news: no one cares that much about what you eat. They’re just being nice, and hoping that you’ll remember and return that ‘like’ in an hour, when they post an oddly ecstatic shot of a Frappacino.
If you MUST photograph food, do it rarely and for good reason. Think Wolfgang Puck, not Crispy Crust.
3. DO: Enthuse about cool events or places you’ve gone to.
By cool, I don’t mean ‘the view from your office window’ or (shudder) Hollywood Boulevard. Cool equates a killer show at The Viper Room or mad waves in Malibu.
Monuments and museums are a yes. Dog parks and Whole Foods are a no. Think of it this way: only post about places or events that, were positions reversed, would give you major FOMO: Fear Of Missing Out.
4. DON’T: Cause Whore
Yeah, the LAPD is whack, but constantly latching on to any atrocity for attention is pretty wack too. Using the suffering of strangers to manipulate your image and evoke a strong reaction is super tacky.
‘Raising awareness’ is not helping. Donating to charity or volunteering is helping.
5. DO: Take Pride In Your Accomplishments
Succeeding is super duper hard. Every day I slap on heels, pour myself into Rag & Bone jeans, and gaze wistfully at my comfy couch and even more comfortably fiance before heading out to yet another hectic day.
If you’re winning, take a moment to savor the sensation and share that positivity with the world.
6. DON’T: Whine
Sad? Devastated? Lonely? Rejected? Neglected? Welcome to the human race. Whining is never sexy, and all you’re accomplishing by describing woes and hardship to the world is reminding the world that you are no fun.
What you share about your life shapes people’s perception of you. Endlessly moaning about the crap that is your life makes you look at best desperate and at worst tragic. Plus, why would anyone want to part of a crap life?
We all have crap to deal with. Deal with it. Quietly.
7. DO: Make Fun Of Yourself
Self-depreciating humor never goes out of style. There are two kinds of people: those who scramble to hide each and every minor flaw, and those who can acknowledge their shortcomings and laugh at them.
When you make fun of yourself, you realize that those tiny shortcomings, weird quirks, or strange phobias are actually part of what makes you interesting and likable to others.
No one likes a perfect bitch, but everyone loves a funny bitch.
8. DON’T: Discuss politics, money, or religion.
“Never discuss politics, money, or religion at the dinner table,” is an old proverb that still rings true. In 2014, we spend more time in discussion online than at an actual table. Think of the internet as your dinner table and take this snippet of wisdom to heart.
No matter how right you are (aren’t we all), someone disagrees with you, someone else doesn’t know what you’re talking about, and someone else dislikes your phrasing.
You will annoy and potentially alienate those people.
9. DO: Crowd Source
Need a great web-designer or colorist? Want to shop for discount designer jeans? By all means, crowd source your social networks. Personal recommendations bear more weight than advertising, and we all know someone FANTASTIC at their job. Especially in LA, it’s all about who you know, so go ahead and make use of who you know!
Acceptable crowd sourcing comes with a major caveat: only ask questions worthy and relevant to others. Should I go to the store? Should I go blonde? Should I get my cat shaved? Should I try eating vegan? These things are a. of no interest to anyone but yourself and b. easy/best decided on your own.
If you’re craving human interaction, try leaving the house.
10. DON’T: Post Crazy Party Pics
No one likes a flamboyant druggie or supercharged shit show. If you’re going to imbibe, fine, but don’t post evidence of you being a hot mess on the internet. That is just common sense.
Weed might be legal in California, but posting pics of that blunt is impressing no one. A couple ‘likes’ from your party pals just isn’t worth the damage your reputation might take.
LA is smaller than you think.